10 Things I wish I knew, 10 years ago.

There are a lot of people that are currently going through a very large storm, and here are 10 things I wished people told me 

1.) Its ok to feel what you feel. 

Its okay to cry if you need to, don’t let anyone tell you that you need to keep the appearances of being strong when you feel anything but. Crying is not a weakness. But also don’t let anyone tell you that you have to cry if you either can’t or don’t feel like it. It’s easy to let people tell you what you should or shouldn’t feel in a situation, but they are wrong. 

2.) You will be ok. 

Sometimes this isn’t helpful, as it can negate what a person is going through. But I definitely have had nights where the most helpful thing any of has said that it will be ok especially when it feels like it will be anything but. 

2.) God is not ignoring you. 

It may feel like he is ignoring you. It may feel like you pray and pray and nothing happens. But something that one of my close friends tell me all the time is that we have 100% access to God, a 100% of the time, due to what Jesus did when he died for us. He is listening to you and he cares. This isn’t my opinion, this is a fact (if you don’t believe me, read 1 John 5:14-15; Psalms 66:19; 2 Chronicles 7:14 ;1 Peter 3: 12 ). He may not give you what you want, but he isn’t ignoring you.  

3.) God loves you. 

You may read this and either roll your eyes, click off the link, or feel your insides screaming that he doesn’t. But I promise you he does. And nothing you say or do will ever separate you from this love. And nothing this life or Satan throws at you will separate you from his love (Romans 8: 35-39; Romans 5:8; Ephesians 3: 16-19).

4.) God is changing you. 

Again you may be thinking ‘Its not that I don’t want him to change me, but I would like not be in this much pain’. The trial you are going through may not make any sense to you right now, or until you get glory, but he not only works everything for the good of those he loves according to his purpose but he is also using this trial to conform you into the likeness of his son (Romans 8: 28-30). Going through this trial is a part of you sharing in Christ’s suffering and this suffering is nothing compared to the glory that will be revealed to you in Christ Jesus (Romans 8: 16). That doesn’t mean that the trial doesn’t feel like hell and so so painful, but, it does mean that it is worth it and soon (God’s soon not ours) this pain will all make sense when we are standing in front of the risen Jesus. 

5.) Don’t let appearances fool you.

I think its also easy to believe that God listens to some people more than others, especially when it seems they are getting everything they want and you’re going through hell, but it just isn’t true. God loves me just as much as he loves you, but he doesn’t love me more than you. Also be careful that you don’t judge a person on what they are letting you see. I have had some people tell me that I am doing really well and God was giving me what I wanted when I was (and still am) going through severe depression, and I was struggling to get through each day. 

6.) Continue talking to God 

This is so so important. Talking to God and praying when going through a large storm really helps. It doesn’t necessarily change the circumstances but it does change your faith and how you view God. When you get angry at him or shout or cry it helps us really view him as the perfect and just father he is. Obviously, if you blame him for everything (which I often fall into doing), it isn’t his fault, but he can take all your range of emotions. 

7.) Keeping going to church

Going to church when you don’t want to takes a lot of discipline and sometimes you need God’s strength just to make it through the door, but as a church family we share everything about life with each other (1 Corinthians 12:26). Hearing from Gods word having the chance to pray with other believers and talking to brothers and sisters in Christ actually makes it so much more bare able. Obviously, church can be hard and painful but continue letting people in even if they don’t respond well every time (I’ll talk more about this in point 9). 

8.) Give yourself grace 

You probably won’t be able to have an hour quiet time every morning if it takes everything in you to get up and have a shower, and thats ok. Follow Jesus the best you can with what you have got, but don’t put so many expectations on yourself that you can’t complete (because it’ll just depress you when you can’t reach them). 

9.) Give others grace 

I find this one especially hard, but those that God has placed around you are trying their best. They will get it wrong and they may not be there every time you need them but their failures and weaknesses are a direct contrast to our heavenly father who never gets tired, or weary, he never says or does the wrong the thing but your friends and family will. 

10.) Ask God to use your trials for his glory and wait. 

I remember about a year and a half ago I prayed that God would use my depression and mental health struggles for his glory and at the time I would have had a panic attack (literally) at the thought of being so open about my struggles with online. But God knew this. He knew the exact time I was ready to tell the world my struggles (even though I still feel anything but ready), and he probably won’t use your struggles in the same way but he will use them for his glory. 

Author: beforeiunderstood

I am 25, born and bread in the UK, I am a Christian with more questions than answers, trying to follow God, loves others and trust his will above all others. I work in the education sector, and live for diamond painting, cycling and dinner with friends.

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